Next Generation Ministry Blog

Have you ever been part of two very different groups? Maybe you go to a different school or you’re in different classes than the people in your neighborhood. So you’re a part of both groups. Or maybe you play on a different sports team than all of your friends. So after practice hang out with the team but on the weekends, you hang out with completely different people. When that happens, we feel like we’re from one world and living in another. We’re torn. And if we’re honest, sometimes going to church or being a Christian can make us feel that way too. We go to church and what we hear makes sense. We see people living out their faith and it looks perfectly normal, maybe even fun. But what looks good on Sunday doesn’t always feel comfortable on Monday. Back in the everyday world, living as followers of Jesus can make us feel like we’re from another planet. But does it have to be that way? And what does it look like to live for God in a culture that doesn’t necessarily think the same way? Believe it or not, these aren’t 21st century questions. Long ago, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the church at Philippi as they figured out how to navigate their faith and culture at the same time. As we spend the next few weeks talking about what he said, we may find that Paul’s advice to the Philippians is just as relevant for us as we learn to manage the tension and live in a way that is out of this world.

WE’RE TEACHING THIS

One of the hardest things about parenting a middle or high school student is figuring out rules and consequences at this phase of life. It can seem like every family on your street and every mom in the carpool line has a different opinion on what matters most and what the rules should be for a student at this age. So over and over you find yourself face-to-face with your own son or daughter explaining why they can’t go to the same places, see the same movies, or stay out as late as their friends parents allow. It’s frustrating for sure, but more than that, it can be difficult finding the right words to talk with your kid about the boundaries your family chooses to set and why they may look different from others around them.

In a video clip from ChurchLeaders.com, pastor Andy Stanley talks to parents in his church about this very issue of how to communicate boundaries to preteens and teenagers. And while he mentions early on that his audience is parents of middle schoolers, the topics that he addresses can be helpful to parents at any phase of adolescence. We’d love for you to take some time to watch the entire video.

But if you only have a few minutes, here are the starting points of a few key conversations that nearly every parent faces with their son or daughter.

• SEX (begins at 1:01)
• TECHNOLOGY (begins at 4:48)
• FREEDOM AND INDEPENDENCE (begins at 9:14)

THINK ABOUT THIS

Nearly everything works better when you have a plan in place. That’s true at work. It’s true with finances. And it’s also true with parenting. Having a plan that everyone knows about and agrees to can go a long way in alleviating the natural tension that comes with setting boundaries.

One strain that nearly every family feels centers on technology— specifically, cell phones. What should the rules be with a new phone? Should there be total freedom? What about when they go over the data limits or (gasp) are downloading things they shouldn’t?